I recently attended an international conference of business coaches in San Diego, California. Over the course of the conference, I had spent a fair amount of time with my coaching colleagues discussing, among other things, the importance of goal setting as a key practice used by all successful people.
On the last day of the conference, I got up early and walked down to a coffee shop near our hotel for a cup of coffee and to read the paper. On the way I had an encounter with a “homeless” woman that I will never forget.
I was pondering the question, “If effective goal setting is so important to personal and professional success, why are so many people undisciplined in the setting of goals?” As a business coach, my thoughts led to the myriad of constraints that my clients tell me they experience in their everyday lives that leaves little time for goal setting. Frankly, I thought about my own constraints and found myself “justifying” the reasons why I too am inconsistent with my goal setting behaviors.
That is when the encounter occurred. The woman was sitting under a light pole located near the coffee shop. Stereotypically, she was physically quite “unkempt”. She sat surrounded by all her earthly belongings which were contained in a pile of black plastic bags. As I passed by her, our eyes met and we greeted each other with a simple, “Good morning”. As I continued, my thoughts turned from thinking about goal setting to thinking about this woman and how terrible her circumstances were. I felt sorry for her and frankly, I felt quite blessed that my circumstances were different than hers. I am also embarrassed to admit that I allowed myself to conclude that she must not have been very motivated toward success because if she had been, she certainly would not have ended up living on the street.
That is when it got interesting. I sat down to read the paper and to enjoy my cup of coffee, but I could not concentrate. My mind kept focusing on the woman and her unfortunate condition. An urging from deep within my soul kept encouraging me to go back and engage with her. I finally yielded to this urging and resolved to introduce myself to the woman – if she was still sitting under that light pole on my way back.
I will never forget what happened next. Sure enough, the woman was still there so I took out a $5 bill. I walked up to her and said, “Good morning again. May I ask you what your name is?” She stuck out her hand and said, “Hi, my name is Monica, what’s your name?” I replied, “My name is Tim, it’s nice to meet you.” I continued. “Monica, I’d like to give you this gift of money in hopes that it might help you in some small way today.” Monica accepted my gift and immediately stood up. Not knowing what was going to happen next, I was shocked when Monica said to me, “Thanks very much Tim. You just allowed me to accomplish my first goal for today.”
Trying to suppress my surprise at her response, I asked, “Your first goal? What is it?” She said excitedly, “To raise 10 bucks!” Secretly presuming to know the purpose of her goal (i.e. to buy some alcohol or other drugs), I attempted to validate my assumption by asking, “Your first goal was to raise $10? What are you planning to do with the money?” She responded, “Well, now I can take all of my stuff to a storage locker and keep it safe for the day while I go to the park to work on my second goal for today.”
Now my curiosity was really piqued but for a different reason. Here was a “homeless” woman who was claiming to have specific goals for her day. She was quickly becoming an important object lesson for me. “Your second goal? What’s that?” She bent over, picked up a bag that was full of beautiful wool yarn and answered, “A nice woman the other day gave me this yarn. I took some of the money that I have saved and bought some knitting needles. I am going to the park to knit. You see, I knit warm blankets for the other homeless people and I have a blanket I plan to finish today for one of the homeless men that sleeps in the park.”
This time, I knew that I had not concealed my disbelief because Monica held up her hand and tolerantly said, “It’s alright Tim. I may live out here on the street but after all, we’re all God’s children and we’re all called to help those who are ‘less fortunate’ than we are, right?” I stood there completely dumbfounded. Then she apologetically closed our conversation proclaiming, “Well, I’d love to stay and talk with you longer Tim but I’ve got to get to the park and get that blanket completed, it’s going to be a chilly night tonight.”
I asked Monica if I could give her a hug. No longer did she appear to me to be “unkempt”. No longer did she appear to lack motivation for success. No longer did she appear ‘less fortunate’ than me. In fact, she indeed knew exactly who she is, deeply values what she has (versus focusing on all that she may have lost) and is truly clear in terms of what her purpose is. Humbled and deeply inspired, I thanked her for being such a marvelous role model for me, and for others, to follow. And then we parted.
In a very unexpected way, Monica reminded me that day about the power and impact of goal setting. She exemplified “focus” and “concentration”. She modeled perseverance “without diversion or distraction”. She personified the principle that for successful people, accomplishing the things that make a real difference comes when making a real difference in the life of others. What is amazing is that Monica accomplishes all these things while living as a “homeless” person! Pretty inspiring don’t you think?
So, what is holding you back? Is it your level of education or skill? Is it your current occupation or job? Is it your current environment or level of health? Is it the situation or conditions that you find yourself in today? Whatever the constraint, you can overcome it if you make it a goal to do so. As Monica taught me that day, there really is no constraint so great, other than our own unwillingness, lack of resolve and/or lack of discipline to overcome it that should prevent us from setting goals or from persevering in the accomplishment of the things that make a real difference in our own lives and in the lives of others.